Do’s and Don’ts in Divorce Cases

Divorce, whether contested or uncontested, is one of the most stressful experiences people can go through in their lives. The emotional upheaval felt by the divorcing parties is often complicated by the potential limitation of access to children and the loss of financial resources. Yet, under these trying circumstances, divorcing parties must make critical decisions that will greatly affect their lives.

Taking some practical and strategic steps in the early stages of the divorce process can help you feel good about your decisions. Here are a number of key things that you should do, and more specifically not do, to lessen the chance that you will regret your decisions later on.

DO:

• Consult an experienced Divorce & Family Law Attorney to make sure your rights and interests are protected.

• Put your children at the top of your agenda. Children need a supportive environment to deal with divorce. Give thought to the setting and circumstances when you break the news.

• Begin gathering financial documents including copies of tax returns, bank statements, car loan information, mortgage information, and any retirement accounts you or your spouse may possess.

• Know your household budget expenses.

• Inventory the major items in your home.

• Keep a journal of important dates and events.

• Pay attention to your emotional needs. Focus on keeping yourself active, healthy, and moving forward.

DON’T:

• Do not move out of the marital home without talking to an attorney first, unless your spouse is violent.

• Do not involve the children. Minimize the amount you talk about the process. Refocus your energy so you can be there for your children, attend their school and extra-curricular events, help them with homework, and spend quality time together.

• Do not dismiss the possibility of mediation. A third-party professional can help you and your spouse to agree on a joint parenting plan to submit to the court for allocation of parental responsibilities.

• Do not threaten to limit or deny visitation unless you have a real concern that the other parent poses a serious endangerment to the child’s physical or mental health. If the court is forced to choose between separate parenting plans, it must select the plan that maximizes the child’s relationship and access to both parents.

•  Do not abuse social media: texts, emails, phone numbers, call histories, GPS and Internet search histories, social media sites, and the dating services. Text messaging and emails are the most common form of divorce evidence. Texts and emails can be printed. If you don’t want the Judge to see it, don’t write it down. Either spouse can subpoena text messages, emails and other social media materials.

• Do not needlessly delay your divorce procedure. If you delay in providing your attorney with the financial information required by the court, the procedure may become even more complicated.

• Do not forget to change your will. Divorce does not automatically revoke a will. If you want to prevent your ex-spouse from receiving the monies and privileges granted them in your will, you need to update your estate plan after the court enters a judgment for Dissolution of Marriage.